Walter Lewis

Meanwhile, short-term “bursts” of aggression, even destructive aggression, are more easily tolerated by the body. The main thing is that they should not be too frequent and intense.

Be lenient to the mistakes and shortcomings of other people. Remember that no one is perfect and it is easier to accept people as they are. This will help you become a more empathic person.

Thirdly, the level of aggression is connected not only with a hormonal background, but also with the features of the nervous system, upbringing, social experience. Therefore with desire and conscious efforts it is quite possible to control it.

To do this, you need to learn to recognize provoking factors, to relieve stress by safe methods, and to distract yourself from stimuli.

There are many ways of “letting off steam” without resorting to aggression. These include exercise/sports, meditation/breathing practices, and hobbies. Find what works for you.

It is important to remember to be responsive and understanding to the people closest to you: relatives, friends and colleagues in the first place.

Sincere kindness helps to strengthen the emotional bonds between people, reduce stress and negative emotions in those around. A positive attitude toward strangers creates a positive mood and makes a person happier.

The combination of kindness and aggression is a delicate balance that everyone must work through independently, based on the specific situation and their own moral foundations. The main thing to remember is that any display of violence must be justified, purposeful, and minimal in scale. The good should remain our ultimate goal.

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Most diseases develop because of psycho-emotional disorders. For example, when a person is in anger, a large number of processes occur in his body, including an increase in blood pressure.

If you suppress aggression, it will start to go deeper into the body, the blood pressure will rise, and gradually hypertension will develop. This is why you shouldn’t push your emotions inside. It is necessary to express them ecologically, that is, without harm to others and yourself. The Chinese have special physical exercises for this purpose.

The Chinese don’t get sick very often, because they remove all risks beforehand. They believe that there is no certain cure for all diseases. But there is something that can prevent them. First of all, they work with their thoughts and work through them thoroughly. This prevents negativity from interfering in their lives, destroying their body and health. Because of this, they always stay positive and almost never get sick.

They don’t overstretch themselves by deciding to make more money. It’s against their philosophy. They have competently optimized time for all areas of life: work, leisure, family, entertainment and friends. Therefore, there is enough time for everything, and life lasts a long time.

Another national peculiarity of the Chinese is a smile. They do not part with it, even when the mood is not too good. Perhaps this is also one of the reasons for their longevity.

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Is it always necessary to close gestalts?
It is necessary to satisfy needs. To do this, it is important to be able to recognize them. To understand what requests are important and paramount, to find ways to meet them, to establish contact and to appropriate the experience. But this is not always possible.

A person is capable of interrupting himself or herself due to his or her traumatic experiences or character traits.

It happens that there is a lack of experience for some task. For example, a person does not know the Internet, does not know how to use a search engine and is afraid to find information. Then it may turn out that his interest – to learn more about something – remains unsatisfied. Or he will ask an incompetent acquaintance and, not having received enough information, too will remain unsatisfied.

The process of contact may be interrupted without the person’s participation. External factors intervene: natural disasters, illness, accidents, etc. Here, much will depend on the person’s abilities to withstand the tension of the arisen experiences and creatively adapt to the circumstances.

For example, the electricity was cut off, and the person, naturally, feels annoyed. Not recognizing his anger or not understanding its source, or being afraid to call a specialist, he can simply vent his irritation on his loved ones. The tension can be removed in this way, but there will be no satisfaction.

To get it, you need to act constructively: be patient and wait until the electricity is turned on. Or to direct the energy of the anger to find another source of information. It is also possible to obtain a solution to the problem from the responsible person – the electrician.

It also happens that it is impossible to close a gestalt because there is no one or nothing to contact. For example, it often happens that the person from whom we would like to receive love and acceptance is no longer alive…

Then the process of grieving comes to our aid, which includes experiencing shock, anger, sadness, gratitude. All of these feelings help a person understand and accept that they will not be able to meet their need at all or do it the way they would like. It is then the process of grieving that helps to close the gestalt.

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So how does one arrive at this set of options?

1. Concentrate on the good things. Pay attention to the joyful moments in your life and appreciate the small joys. Try to think positively.
2. Live in the Present. Don’t regret the past or worry too much about the future. Appreciate every moment. You can’t be happy if you’re not in the here and now.

3. Be grateful. Express gratitude to creation, friends, and yourself. Gratitude changes the way you see life.

4. Work on yourself. Work on your inner world, strive for self-knowledge and personal growth. Accept yourself and learn to love.
5. Find Meaning. Do something you love, to which you devote your time with pleasure. Find your passion or vocation that gives your life meaning.
6. Strengthen your social ties. Maintain close relationships with friends and loved ones. Communication and the experience of shared emotions bring people closer together.
7. Lead a healthy lifestyle. Maintain a healthy lifestyle: your happiness and well-being depends on your physical and psychological well-being.

The main sign of happiness is a positive and grateful outlook on life. This state lies in every moment, if you know how to live “here and now”. The present is the only moment of truth. The past is just memories, the future is expectations. Learn to notice the little joys – the spring flower, the smile of a child, the taste of food. That is the secret of happiness.

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5. Watch the right movies. Complex plots, dialogues and acting work form the worldview and expand the consciousness. What’s more, attitudes toward all kinds of things change. Movies have a beneficial effect on the psyche. Films help us understand ourselves, explore our cultural and national identities.
6. Talk to interesting people. Many people know that our environment strongly influences us. For example, interaction with intelligent and erudite people develops a person for the better. In the process of communication interlocutors exchange knowledge and emotions. This is a psychological resource that helps us become a better person. We learn empathy, compassion, and reflection.

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How to get rid of selfishness in adulthood?

Develop empathy. It shifts the focus of attention from your own self to the interests and needs of others. It is necessary to put yourself in the interlocutor’s shoes more often and to connect active listening.

It promotes acceptance of another’s point of view and understanding of others.

Showing kindness and cooperation. Paying attention and taking the time to help. To do this, it is worth thinking about what your small actions will make a positive contribution to the lives of others.

Increase your communication skills. It is important to learn how to communicate without conflict, understand those around you correctly, and interact in a quality way.

Work on yourself. Monitor the manifestation of selfishness, analyze, understand its causes. This will help work with a psychologist or psychotherapist.

Take an example from others. Pay attention to the people around you who show altruism and responsiveness. Keep in touch with them to immerse yourself in an atmosphere of mutual support and solidarity.

How to communicate with selfish people?
Inevitably in life, we encounter people who exhibit selfish behavior. To communicate effectively with them, you need to set boundaries and be emotionally stable.

It is always a good idea to learn to identify the motives of others. There may be fear, insecurity or lack of attention behind such behavior. In such cases, you can try to talk openly with the selfish person and express your observations and feelings about their behavior.

It is important to remember to be tolerant and objective, offering understanding and cooperation instead of confrontation. In the search for a constructive solution, it is important to consider not only the wishes and needs of the interlocutor, but also your own.

If your partner is selfish, it is important to communicate with him or her as an equal, not as a victim. But the main recommendation here is family therapy. It will help to save the marriage and build a harmonious relationship.

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Learn to believe in yourself.
You’ll stop being shy about talking about victories after you’ve become successful for yourself. Stop brushing it off and believing that there is nothing special about your skills. Pay attention to how your colleagues or others talk about you and your actions. Analyze what distinguishes you from others.

Examine what comes easily to you. It may be difficult or impossible for others. For example, fast and error-free printing, the ability to negotiate with difficult clients, attentiveness or the ability to always arrive on time.

If you begin to treat yourself with respect and become an asset in your own eyes, others will look at you differently. As a result, you will talk about your own strengths with pride and without embarrassment.

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