Walter Lewis

Meanwhile, short-term “bursts” of aggression, even destructive aggression, are more easily tolerated by the body. The main thing is that they should not be too frequent and intense.

Be lenient to the mistakes and shortcomings of other people. Remember that no one is perfect and it is easier to accept people as they are. This will help you become a more empathic person.

Thirdly, the level of aggression is connected not only with a hormonal background, but also with the features of the nervous system, upbringing, social experience. Therefore with desire and conscious efforts it is quite possible to control it.

To do this, you need to learn to recognize provoking factors, to relieve stress by safe methods, and to distract yourself from stimuli.

There are many ways of “letting off steam” without resorting to aggression. These include exercise/sports, meditation/breathing practices, and hobbies. Find what works for you.

It is important to remember to be responsive and understanding to the people closest to you: relatives, friends and colleagues in the first place.

Sincere kindness helps to strengthen the emotional bonds between people, reduce stress and negative emotions in those around. A positive attitude toward strangers creates a positive mood and makes a person happier.

The combination of kindness and aggression is a delicate balance that everyone must work through independently, based on the specific situation and their own moral foundations. The main thing to remember is that any display of violence must be justified, purposeful, and minimal in scale. The good should remain our ultimate goal.

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3. Physical activity
   Every morning and evening, millions of Chinese people go out for exercise. They do qigong (health gymnastics) and tai chi (martial art). Basically, it is therapeutic exercise, where there is no serious strain. The exercises are similar to a slow dance. However, there is an important point here: the work is done not only with the body, but also with the psyche.

Children are taught to be active from an early age. Therefore, even the elderly Chinese usually look quite energetic, and it’s very rare to see overweight people in the street.

There is a different kind of sport for each age. The young people go in different sections, older people go out for jogging. Those over 70 prefer quiet and slow exercises without excessive strain. Options of physical activity of Chinese long-livers are light exercise, walking, gymnastics or qigong.

4. Positive thinking.
   The Chinese believe that stress and nervousness cause overwork and health problems. Calmness and good mood will help even in the most difficult situations, and an easy smile and positive attitude to life are the main components of longevity.

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When was the term formulated?
The concept was introduced by the Austrian philosopher and psychologist Christian von Ehrenfels (1890) in his article “On the Quality of Form. The topic of the Gestalt as an integral image was further developed by the Gestalt psychologists Max Wertheimer, Kurt Koffka, and Wolfgang Keller, who studied the peculiarities of human perception.

In 1951 Fritz Perls’s Gestalt Therapy, written in collaboration with Paul Goodman and Ralph Hefferlin, was published. This year is considered the birth year of the Gestalt approach, and Fritz Perls himself is its founder.

In fact, the scientist and his associates borrowed the term from Gestalt psychology, which angered representatives of the latter. Nevertheless, the concept caught on, gained popularity and became the official name of a separate branch of psychology – Gestalt therapy.

When was the science discovered?
In 1942 Fritz Perls, who was originally a psychoanalyst, published his first book “Ego, Hunger and Aggression” and already in it he began to describe what, nine years later, evolved into full-fledged Gestalt therapy: the importance of body manifestations, work with the present moment – the “here and now”, the value-based approach, the development of client responsibility, the value of feeling, direct contact, and so forth.

In 1951 the work “Gestalt Therapy” was published, already more fully describing the new approach to psychotherapy. And in 1952 Perls and his associates founded the Gestalt Therapy Institute.

Since then the approach has been successfully developing and constantly gaining popularity.

What do neurophysiologists think of the method?
The main objectives of Gestalt therapy are the development of the client’s awareness and stimulation of his creative adaptation to the environment, the acquisition of new experiences. Increased awareness and new experiences inevitably activate the brain, increasing the number of neural connections. Therefore, Gestalt therapy is an important adjunct and aid in the tasks facing neurophysiologists.

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So how does one arrive at this set of options?

1. Concentrate on the good things. Pay attention to the joyful moments in your life and appreciate the small joys. Try to think positively.
2. Live in the Present. Don’t regret the past or worry too much about the future. Appreciate every moment. You can’t be happy if you’re not in the here and now.

3. Be grateful. Express gratitude to creation, friends, and yourself. Gratitude changes the way you see life.

4. Work on yourself. Work on your inner world, strive for self-knowledge and personal growth. Accept yourself and learn to love.
5. Find Meaning. Do something you love, to which you devote your time with pleasure. Find your passion or vocation that gives your life meaning.
6. Strengthen your social ties. Maintain close relationships with friends and loved ones. Communication and the experience of shared emotions bring people closer together.
7. Lead a healthy lifestyle. Maintain a healthy lifestyle: your happiness and well-being depends on your physical and psychological well-being.

The main sign of happiness is a positive and grateful outlook on life. This state lies in every moment, if you know how to live “here and now”. The present is the only moment of truth. The past is just memories, the future is expectations. Learn to notice the little joys – the spring flower, the smile of a child, the taste of food. That is the secret of happiness.

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A couple of decades later, it was no longer enough just to read books, look neat and be polite in order to be treated as well-mannered members of society. The new requirement is that all of this must become personal qualities. Hence the expression “Soviet intelligentsia,” familiar to many, appeared. Morals were now sought to be inculcated, starting at school.

At the beginning of the XXI century there is a new concept in the world – “cultural hatred. On one side are supporters of conservative values, on the other side are people of progressive views. At the same time, enlightenment projects began to appear, which coincided with the heyday of science.

Who is a cultured person today? Such a person is someone who is not only engaged in self-improvement and is able to communicate eye-to-eye, but also on the Internet. In the age of social media, it is important to develop critical thinking. Moreover, to classify yourself as a cultured person, you need to be conscious and responsible. I’m talking about an interest in ecology and conservation. Yes, culture is not only theaters and books.

What other signs can be highlighted? Let’s make a list, so that afterwards it will be easier to decide on the instructions – tips that will allow you to pump your “culture”.

What qualities do you need to possess?

1. Knowledge and interest in culture. A cultured person has a broad outlook, is fond of art, music, literature, history. First of all it develops communicative abilities, helps to express feelings and emotions, improves relations with people. It also influences thinking and, as a result, behavior.
2. tolerance and respect for different cultures. The person we are talking about is aware of the importance of honoring the heritage of other peoples. He seeks to understand and accept their traditions, customs and languages.
3. Creativity and imagination. A cultured person should have creative thinking and the ability to find non-standard solutions – both in ordinary life and at work.
4. ethics and moral principles. He adheres to moral norms in communication with others.

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How do I recognize a selfish person?
Egoists are easy to identify by behavior, communication and a set of qualities. Let’s talk about the latter in more detail.

• Conflicted;
• unscrupulous;
• no sense of duty;
• no sense of self-worth;
• frivolous;
• lazy;
• unscrupulous;
• ignorant;
• likes a mess;
• Does not listen to advice;
• can’t stand any demands;
• irresponsible;
• Can’t empathize;
• indifferent;
• insensitive;
• callous;
• inattentive.

How do you know if you are selfish?

1. Can’t stand criticism. Any remark about you, even constructive ones, is painfully and acutely perceived. Such words psychologically lower, belittle, because the negative assessment hits the inner “I”.
2. You are easily offended. We have already taken apart the effect of criticism on egoists. But not only words can hurt, but also deeds and even indifference. Moreover, it hurts when others do not put other people’s interests above their own. For example, you were not invited to your favorite restaurant, but to a conveniently located place.
3. You have a tendency to narcissism. This is expressed not only in appearance, but also in communication. It is about bragging, excessive demonstration of themselves, stories about successes and virtues.
4. You like to command. As a rule, such people always speak in an orderly tone. They tend to give orders and direct orders. Egoists consider themselves superior to others. With whom do you usually associate command? Of course, with bosses, parents, teachers. That is, with those who are higher in status.
5. You do not know how to listen to the interlocutor. Other people’s problems do not arouse interest. Conversations about failures or troubles are not for you, because such information is perceived extremely difficult.
6. Often use the “I. During a conversation you constantly repeat this pronoun on and off.

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Digitize your achievements
Stop thinking that you do not know how to do anything, you are just like everyone else, there is nothing special in you. Write down where you worked and what you did, what you achieved during that time. Perhaps the number of your clients, the number of texts you have written, the number of trainings you have done, or the number of hours you have spent on consultations is measured in hundreds. Maybe your clients include large companies or well-known personalities. Or the knowledge and skills that you possess are unique, and what you know – knows almost no one.

After you make the list, you’ll realize that you can do many things. So you have the right to share your successes, to express your opinion. And do it without any shyness.

Stop being afraid of criticism.
Often we do not talk about our strengths and do not praise themselves, fearing the haters and those who will criticize us. It is important to remember that all these people do not possess and a tenth of your experience. That’s why their words should not be taken seriously.

In addition, most critics simply don’t know how to speak ecologically. They do not think about the fact that their words can be traumatic.

It’s important to recognize that other people’s negative opinions don’t make you worse. People may have a different point of view. Moreover, you don’t have to be good for everyone – it is simply impossible to please everyone.

Speak with confidence.
If you start talking about what a great professional you are, but you do it in a faltering, trembling voice, it’s unlikely that anyone will believe what you say. You need to be confident and articulate. Without mooing, “echoing” and parasitic words.

Try to record your speech on a tape recorder or camera. You may find that you mumble or speak too softly. It is important to understand what gives away your inner insecurity.

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